【動畫】要做好父母,自我鞭策有限度?
「餵唔到人奶,我真係好無用」、「人人都得,點解係得我兼顧唔到家庭同事業?」、「做到隻積咁都撐唔起頭家,點算好爸爸」、「我真係唔識教」……
聽到朋友咁樣批判自己,我地都會想盡辦法去安慰佢地,甚至好能夠同理對方,因為我地真心明白,餵人奶也好、兼顧家庭同事業也好、甚或喺香港要獨力養起頭家,都唔容易,能夠咬緊牙關撐下去嘅父母,點會一無是處?
之但係,當呢啲聲音唔係黎自朋友,而係我地自己嘅心聲嘅時候,你有無發覺,我地好少會安慰自己,反而會加多兩錢肉緊,批判自己。好似只有自我批評同自我懲罰先可以幫我們做得更好。
但事實係咪咁呢?
參考資料
- Longe, Maratos, Gilbert, Evans, Volker, Rockliff, & Rippon. (2010). Having a word with yourself: Neural correlates of self-criticism and self-reassurance. NeuroImage, 49(2), 1849-1856.
- Neff, K. (2003). The Development and Validation of a Scale to Measure Self-Compassion. Self and Identity, 2(3), 223-250.
- Neff, K. (2003). Self-Compassion: An Alternative Conceptualization of a Healthy Attitude Toward Oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85-101.
- Neff, K. (2011). Self-compassion stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind (1st ed.). Australia: HarperCollins ebooks.
- Neff, K., & Beretvas, S. (2012). The Role of Self-compassion in Romantic Relationships. Self and Identity, 12(1), 1-21.
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